first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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