You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
