there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize