in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
