I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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