My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
