Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize