Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
