i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
