But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
