I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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