why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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