i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize