Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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