It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you inspire me to be a worse person
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
