It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
