dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
