Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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