i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
