I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
