there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
