...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
