hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
