the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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