yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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