Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
