I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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