The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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