Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
