I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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