Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
