i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Drunk is not a location!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize