so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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