Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
