DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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