Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i now understand why vodka
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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