You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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