dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
