I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
