My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
