do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
