Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
