My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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