Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
