I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
