where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
