Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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