Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
