Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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