Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
