Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
