Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
