I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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