she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize