With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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