is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
