Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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