Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
