At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
