You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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