a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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