do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
