dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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