You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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