i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
