Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
