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Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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