it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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