I am puke
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
