everyone is single if you try hard enough
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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