Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
