'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
