This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
