We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You made out with two different species that night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
