dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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