i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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